This story — this life I’ve lived — was built on a lie. From the very beginning, I was told a story about who I was that was never true. My mother carried a secret to her grave, and my identity, my sense of belonging, and even my name were shaped by silence, shame, and sorrow.
For decades, I felt like I didn’t belong. Like I was out of place in my own family, in my own life. I was raised in dysfunction, touched by addiction, torn apart by loss — including the death of my beloved baby boy. I descended into alcoholism, despair, and isolation, believing that happiness and wholeness were for other people, not me.
But then… something awakened. A remembering. A calling.
I came to understand that none of this happened to me. It happened for me — for the evolution of my soul. I now believe — and know deep in my bones — that we choose our lives before we are born. We design a blueprint, and we choose the people, the pain, and the path so we can rise from it. We are not victims of circumstance; we are eternal beings of light, here to remember who we truly are.
I chose Darrell and Louise. I chose the siblings and the chaos. I chose the wounds so I could become the one who would transmute them into healing.
This book is my offering. It is the map I created by walking through the fire and finding my way back to the light. It is not just my story — it is a mirror for every woman who has felt unloved, unseen, silenced, or shattered. It is for every soul who has lost a child, a dream, or themselves in the process of surviving.
It is a message of hope:
You can come back.
You can reclaim your name, your joy, your peace, and your purpose.
You are not broken — you are becoming.
You are not alone — you are infinite.
This book is a healing transmission disguised as a memoir. It is meant to awaken, to comfort, and to elevate. My dream is to place it in the hands of those who are ready to rise.
Not because I want recognition.
But because I remember what it was like to be in the dark — and now I carry the light.
With fierce love and divine purpose,
Deb
